It’s hard and it’s easy. It’s lonely, and it’s busy. It’s normal and it’s not. It’s constricting and it’s freeing. It’s all the above. It’s really a hybrid of two worlds.
There are two kinds of single mom’s out there the kind that have the father involved and the kind that do not. I am the first. I say kudos to the second. Although I have no family here or support in California so I guess God always gives us what we can handle right?
Maybe. Sometimes it feels like more.
Here are a few things you can bet about single moms:
Hard workers– We have to be. No one else is going to provide it for us. We get that shiz done.
Money Conscious – If we weren’t into budgeting before we certainly will be now.
Lonely yet want time alone- this is a constant contrast. Sometimes we want people around us and miss a companion and a man. Other times we just want. a. break. and NO one to bother us.
Don’t have time to waste dating losers- Single moms have minimal time to date. I only date when my daughter is with her father. I don’t mix dating and my kid. I also don’t want to pay a babysitter to go on a freakin’ date.
Are not looking for a baby daddy- My child has a father and he loves her very much. I am not expecting a man to jump in and step parent. In fact you can bet you won’t even meet her for a LONG LONG time…..if ever *wink
Need to let loose sometimes- Ya we have responsibilities, but we still want to have a night out to sing karaoke, or dance. We are still us. We just can’t do what we want…..hardly ever.
We sometimes we feel guilty- We know its not ideal this one parent thing. But really we did the best we could. We wish we could give our kids a sibling, or a “normal” family. But this is what it is. We also feel guilty that we like our alone time when the child is with the other parent. It’s not a bad thing to have some us time. But the moment we hand them over you can bet we miss them……we always miss them.
We like that we get to call the shots with our kids – a plus if the father isn’t involved is we get to make all the decisions about our child. And if he is at least we can choose what we do when they are on our time.
We love our kids…. – Yes it is a tough situation but we wouldn’t change it for the world. These children are straight up blessings.
Being a single mom can be really hard. It’s hard to do everything your self and not to fear sometimes that you won’t be able to juggle it all. We really do want a great man. We still crave romance, want to be swept off our feet and thought of as lovely. We still want to fall in love again some day. We are not jaded or angry, we are just realists and have to be in this chaotic world.
Being a single mom can also ROCK. Unlike some mom’s who are knee deep in the kid thing and hardly remember who they are, we get a lot of time to ourselves (if we share custody) where we can just be us again! Sleep in, drink wine, laugh, work our passions and fall in love with ourselves again.
There is a bit of a hybrid feeling. We are not fully single and able to travel the world and go do what we want. We are also not fully in family mode and having 2nd and 3rd kids. We are in the middle. One foot in mom land, one foot in single land. But we don’t really fit in either place. That can be lonely. To feel misunderstood.
Lucky for me my roommate is a singe mama too. We have each others backs and we totally get this weird wacky world we live in. For that I am grateful.
So that’s the truth……..