It is so easy to blame the other person if you are not getting what you want in relationship. When breaking up or divorcing with someone it can be all about the other person.

“He never romanced me, He never listened to me, He never complimented me, She never accepted me…….” and on and on it goes.

What if I told you what your past lover or current partner is showing you is just a reflection of the love you have for yourself?

So often we go looking for something from a partner that we think we can get from them to fulfill us.

This is often futile and ends up putting so much pressure on them to make us happy when we are not happy with in ourselves.

No one outside of you will satisfy you. You have to fall in love with yourself first.

Here is a simple exercise to show you where you are at with this in your own life.

Take out a sheet of paper and write down all the ways you want to be treated in relationship. In a current one or a future one.

Did ya do it?


Now, go back and circle anything that you are not currently giving yourself. For example if you want to be complimented by your partner, do you compliment yourself? Honestly, think about it. How do you talk to you?

So now you have some insight on the ways you need to get in to alignment in order to have this reflected back to you.

An easy example of this would be to start complimenting yourself when you wake up and when you go to bed. Just name two things you like about yourself and maybe two things you did well that day. Go ahead say it out loud and maybe even give yourself a little squeeze as you do it.

The answers are within you love. The key to having it is to be it. Take the pressure off your past partner. Look to yourself instead of pointing a finger at why your relationships haven’t been working in the past. You hold the key to your own happiness.

If you need support on the next steps feel free to reach me at:

You are loved,