I have often chased after hard love. You know the kind that is a struggle.
There is often a strong pull. You feel as if you have known each other forever. Its on, then it’s off. One or both pull away only to return quickly. It’s a whirlwind. What feels like love is actually unhealthy attachment.
There is convincing, there chasing, there is running….there is heartbreak.
This is what has felt normal to me in my old attachment style. I have in the past been attracted to men I had to prove myself to. I believe this stems from my feelings of having to prove myself in my family growing up. My perspective was skewed. I have spent a lot of time doing work with both my parents to ask them questions to understand them and the love they have for me. It has taken a lot of courage and bravery and consistency on my part and theirs to participate with me but we did it.
I feel my relationship with my parents is better now then ever before in my life. It is so rewarding to see my healing effect not only me but my entire family. All because I chose not to give up. I chose to let my pain push me to growth.
I am done with men I have to chase. The men it feels hard with and there is some pain element to it. This has been my comfort zone in the past and the basis for all my choosing of partners. I chose from my wounded-ness. I was recently reminded of what this feels like. It feels awful.
I am not wounded any more. I think the chances I have of actually attracting a man who is healthy and whole himself are very much more probable because of this work I have done. It will feel safe,he will fully be ready to give to me, and I will be ready for the first time to receive it. I won’t have to fix him, or heal his pain or wounds. Not saying there won’t be things, there are always things. But I am no longer looking to a man to heal the wounded parts of me, or a man I have to help or heal too. That is called Co-dependcene and I lived there for the last 32 years.
If you are divorced or have been through pain in your love life and haven’t started to do any inner work yet, now is the time. Running to another person to pacify your pain simply won’t work. You will only find yourself repeating your patterns and it will be same person different body. It is up to YOU to change your inner world which will then be reflected in your outer world.
No more chasing, no more convincing. You are enough sweet woman. You are worthy and wonderful. The love you crave lives with-in and that can never be taken away from you.
Contact me today for some guidance. firstname.lastname@example.org